Friday, July 29, 2005

Adoption 1: WHY ADOPTION


Sam (me), Emma and Gabriel

We've always wanted siblings for Gabriel and I'd always thought that about 4 would do the trick. As the second oldest of 7 I've always loved kids, and figured that many of my own would surround Gabriel with love while he is alive and surround me with love when I bury him - my most special boy. Morbid yes, but since he has Down syndrome his life expectancy is much shorter than mine. The other down sides to Down syndrome being that he can't biologically be a Dad and that he won't ever share my intellectual life. Ah well, more about that later.

As Gabriel reached 5 years old we decided to try and adopt a 3-5 year old girl - someone about his developmental age. My wife couldn't stay home to have and raise a baby as she was in an intense healthcare profession. We figured through adoption we could choose the age, ethnicity (Hispanic, Black, or both), and gender while taking a risk on having another kid with special needs. While the process through the County of San Diego can take as little as 6 months, two and a half years later we finished the paperwork. We weren't ready until we were ready, and then it got done.

By 2004, we were starting to wonder whether the right child would ever become available. Most older kids in the system either had siblings or serious issues like molestation or violent behaviors that we didn't want to risk exposing Gabriel too.

Then, in late March, my wife received a call from our Adoption worker who said that a lot of 1 year olds were going to be entering the system and asked whether we were interested in taking one. My wife said, "Sure," and when I returned home I said that we might as well take a baby. One week later we turned in some updated paperwork and received a call saying they'd found one for us......

continued in next post "Adoption 2: The Day We Met Her"
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12 Comments:

At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Born in the USA

Thought you might find this interesting.

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger Gawdessness said...

Thanks for posting at my site...I'm going to enjoy reading your blogs - I have started already.
We are dealing with slightly different issues at my house, the kids are older and both are particularly structure oriented and don't like change.
I think though, they will definitely have moments of "kid go home!"

 
At 10:59 PM, Blogger QueenBee said...

Wow. You have a BEAUTIFUL family, Sam. I'm so touched by your story...and I haven't even finished reading it. Husband and I are in the process of adopting - actually, we are going the foster-to-adopt route as well. Waiting now for the phone to ring, telling us a child (hopefully 2 siblings) are available for us to bring into our home. Anyway, I've add this site to my favorites and I look forward to following up. Thanks for sharing your story.

 
At 8:21 AM, Blogger M3 (Mary-Mia) said...

Hi Sam, love your blog, your writing, and your beautiful story. Found your blog through Cubbiegirl and will be back frequently. We're in process of adopting a child from China this year and I'm addicted to adoption stories. Please give me best to your wife and children. Take care.

 
At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shouldn't this blog be called "Adopting Ahsley"? She wasn't called Emma when you adopted her.

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger Sam said...

It "should" or "shouldn't" anything. It's what I decided to call it. Actually she was called Emma when we adopted her.

 
At 6:54 AM, Anonymous Ava said...

Hi. I love your blog. Emma's a cutie, and Gabriel is adorable! But can I just make one point? You said that he is not biologically able to become a father. Well, that's not true. Boys with Down's are a lot less fertile, but not necessarily sterile! That is an outdated myth. The other point I wanted to make was that you said that you expected to outlive Gabriel because people with Down's have a shorter life expectancy. Their life expectancy is around 60-65, which while being shorter than an average person wothout Down's, is not as short as it was years ago. Please don't think I'm trying to correct you, I just felt the points needed to be made. And I really do enjoy your blog! *hugs*

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Thanks for the correction on the myth, I was going off the latest literature I'd seen. Both sides of my family live into their 90s-100s, but maybe with medical advances we'll all still be around then.

 
At 6:26 AM, Anonymous Ava said...

My pleasure. Well, 60-65 is the average, so with Gabriel's genes he's likely to live longer! Great gene pool you have there!! Hugs to gabe!

 
At 7:08 AM, Blogger Becca said...

Ava's correct, I might add that the longest-lived person with Down's Syndrome that I've heard of enjoyed a not-to-be-sniffed-at 75 years of life, and that's for someone who survived the considerable perils of being an infant and then child with 'mongolism' in the 1920s, I reckon.

Also... there are at least two documented cases of guys with Down's Syndrome becoming fathers, and again, who's to predict what the future for today's young people holds?

 
At 6:35 AM, Blogger Inspired said...

This is such a great blog. I have been married for one year and my husband and I are considering adoption. I am glad God lead me to this blog to get some ensight on a personal experience. Thank you so much for blogging this. I intend to read your blogs often! God Bless.

PS. You have a beautiful family!

 
At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Studying Adoption said...

Great post! Been reading a lot about different aspects of adoption. Thanks for the info!

 

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