Adoption 11: RACE...CUPCAKE & CRACKER
I've never felt uncomfortable having a Black/brown Baby..except that I'm very aware that people notice us. I prefer a life that is different or interesting and full of good stories than a "typical" life. As my brother said when we adopted her, "You sure do things the hard way." He did feel very self-conscious holding her at the park one day.
In fact, I've used our "racial" differences to enlighten, entertain, and inform, the same way I did with our son who has Down syndrome. I've never taken offense to questions, such as, "Is she yours?" My typical response, "Well, my wife says she is.....but, we have a friend Emma looks like.....she wouldn't lie to me would she?" and then I watch their jaws drop as they're thinking something along the lines of "you poor dumb bastard."
When my little cousin, who is white, said, "She looks like a cupcake with chocolate frosting on top," I responded, "well, if she's cupcake, I'm cracker."
A lot of Black folks look at her because she's such a doll, and I like to lean over and say, "I know what you're wanting to know..." implying that their wondering is she my bio/or adopted or is my wife Black....and then I say, "you wanna know how such an ugly guy ended up with such a beautiful girl!"
I figure that by sharing our story - which is good - the people we meet will be interested in adopting, or say good things about it to people they know who are considering adoption. Just like I tell our story about our son because I want people to know that having a kid with Down syndrome can be wonderful in many ways.
Crackers and cupcakes are both good!
More about this later...