Adoption 4: BABY IS HOME!
Our family and friends were thrilled. My brother Adam and his wife who were expecting and no doubt wanted to "try out" the baby - and about 20 other people showed up the next day.
2 a.m. "waaaaaa. waaaaaaaaa." We're on the floor next to the bed. Diaper is full. I'm trying to change it with only the light shining under the door, and the only things I can see are the whites of these big little eyes staring at me wondering, "Who are you?" The first days are hard to remember now - the continued propogation of the human race depends on the erasure of difficult memories by sleep deprivation - but I remember feeling my answer to that look. I was the only person in the world that really mattered to this little baby. If I didn't feed her, change her, hold her, no one else would....she was completely dependent on Me. For months thereafter, I would sit her on my legs, facing me, and stare into her eyes, telling her I was her Daddy that everything would be fine - and in the process convincing myself that this was true...and then making it true as well.