Thursday, July 28, 2005

Adoption 8: BONDING WITH MAMA


Emma's "real" Mom

The day we met Emma, my wife, just lunged at her squealing, "my baby!" while I just kind of stood there. During the first week, "claiming" Emma was weird for me. Was she mine? "My daughter??" Can I kiss and hug her? I had to change a little girl's diaper for the first time.

Maybe that's what created the bonding between she and I - the nonstop staring at each other and my being soley responsible for her 24/7 - but within a week or so there was no question that she was 'mine'.

This took considerably longer for my wife. She was wiped out from long hours at work and just didn't build up a lot of time with Emma for months. She was frustrated by her lack of feeling really close to Emma the same way she felt about our biological son. Understanding that this takes time didn't help much. A year and almost a half later of course, Emma is very much her little girl, although she still has an extra special connection with Gabriel (www.downwithgabe.blogspot.com)

So if you're concerned about your own situation just think like I do - we have about 17 more years with this kid in our house and a lot of time to do things right and be very happy.....and a few years later I'll hopefully get grandbabies!!!

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